question for married people - Politics and War Forum

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question for married people
Tuesday, February 22, 2005 6:55 PM on j-body.org
do you think that lack of communtion causes problems in your marriage?

Re: question for married people
Tuesday, February 22, 2005 7:11 PM on j-body.org
Yes.

I'm not married.

That is all.





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Re: question for married people
Tuesday, February 22, 2005 7:12 PM on j-body.org
It causes a problem in any relationship. I'm not married but seriously, you ever deal with a girl who never talked about how she felt even though it bothered you that something was wrong with her? Now think about living your life with her. Even if it's not about things that bother her it could be about her not telling you where she's at or waiting until the last minute to tell you that she's doing something. A lack of communication causes problems all around. Heck, you can't even work with a lack of communication. People just need to talk more, might save some relationships.


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Re: question for married people
Tuesday, February 22, 2005 8:13 PM on j-body.org
I think too much communication is the problem. On the weekends when I spend all day with my wife im bound to say something that will piss her off. Thats what starts the fight.
Re: question for married people
Tuesday, February 22, 2005 9:15 PM on j-body.org
I think the lack of being able to correctly spell communication is a bigger problem, not only for your marriage, but for your future kids. lol jp..but yeah communication is key in everything relationship unless ur married to a mime.




Re: question for married people
Tuesday, February 22, 2005 9:54 PM on j-body.org
jeff green wrote:do you think that lack of communtion causes problems in your marriage?


No, I think poor communication is the problem.

Let me define...
-Lack of or no communication
-Disrespectful communication (i.e. name calling, being condescending)
-Misunderstood communication (can't relay your thoughts clearly)
-Assumed communication (you assume you understood when you didn't, or "fill in the blanks" on things that weren't communicated well)

Here's Agustin's guide to success...

Don't act like Agustin.


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Re: question for married people
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 5:24 AM on j-body.org
What caused problems for us was the fact that he would hear me but wouldnt listen to me...

Things were only a problem until he deemed them to be a problem, guess thats why he isnt too happy that I have left but he caused it on himself



Re: question for married people
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 5:34 AM on j-body.org
GAM (no doot aboot it) wrote:Yes.

I'm not married.

That is all.



What he said.




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Re: question for married people
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 10:10 AM on j-body.org
tmnt328 wrote:I think too much communication is the problem. On the weekends when I spend all day with my wife im bound to say something that will piss her off. Thats what starts the fight.

Tell me about it. You look at another woman and accidetly think out loud "there's a nice piece of asss" Then your wife says What? and you say "Relax I'll be banging you when we get home anyways" and she'll say "The hell you will." LOL Seriously though Good communication is one of the keys to a healthy relationship.







Re: question for married people
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 11:54 AM on j-body.org
AGuSTiN wrote:
No, I think poor communication is the problem.

Let me define...
-Lack of or no communication
-Disrespectful communication (i.e. name calling, being condescending)
-Misunderstood communication (can't relay your thoughts clearly)
-Assumed communication (you assume you understood when you didn't, or "fill in the blanks" on things that weren't communicated well)

Here's Agustin's guide to success...

Don't act like Agustin.


I am married to Agustin, and the above is so true. It is poor communication that causes problems. Agustin is not a "talker" but I think we do a great job of communicating! The biggest thing we have that makes the times we have failed in communicating with one another is respect.

Monica's guide:
1) Be respectful of one another during/after miss communication. Remember it is not all the other person's fault...It is partially yours (did you ask all the appropriate questions to fully understand one another? Did you just assume? Were you honest?)

2) Complement your significant other more often than you do... No one ever gets tired of hearing what their loved ones think of them!



We must be the change we wish to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi
Re: question for married people
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 12:11 PM on j-body.org
snoeterp82 wrote:What caused problems for us was the fact that he would hear me but wouldnt listen to me...

Things were only a problem until he deemed them to be a problem, guess thats why he isnt too happy that I have left but he caused it on himself

Believe me girl, Do I KNOW what you are talking about! It took me YEARS to learn how to communicate with my hubby. Its almost like I had to learn another language. Even to this day there are times that he hears what I am saying but doesn't "listen" to me. I have realized that when I communicate something to him and he doesn't "listen" I have to find another way to convey my message. Eventually he will get it.

Now, I know you saying to yourself, "it shouldn’t be that hard". But it is, remember they are merely men. They do not (and thank GOD they don't) see things or think the way we do! They do not interpret things as we do. They have different priorities, and have their own unique feelings and emotions that we will never understand.

Men accept the fact that they do not understand women, and are not afraid to tell a women they respect and love “I don’t/didn’t understand what you meant” My experiences with men has shown me that they will be honest about not “getting you or what you meant”. If more women were to accept this same stance and instead of assuming we understand what he is asking for or wanting, things would be easier between the sexes.

That is how it is… Mars vs. Venus.



We must be the change we wish to see in the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Re: question for married people
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 12:12 PM on j-body.org
Thank you for that image you put in my mind...hehehe

Quote:

Agustin is not a "talker" but I think we do a great job of communicating!


You made me picture you saying, "Agustin, what do you want for dinner, hon?" and him breaking out the semaphore flags...




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Re: question for married people
Thursday, February 24, 2005 8:42 AM on j-body.org
communication is a part of it, but understanding what your partner is communicating is just as important, women and men think diffrently. and allot of times one person assumes the other person knows exactly what was said when the other one heres what you said but interpets the meaning diffrently.


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Re: question for married people
Thursday, February 24, 2005 6:55 PM on j-body.org
Yes Communication is a Big part of the relationship. and good communication is even a bigger key. You have to make sure the other partner understands what you are saying because what Sndsgood said is correct.





Re: question for married people
Friday, February 25, 2005 9:28 AM on j-body.org
I dunno, I used to think communication was important, but now I realize that it's way more important to have someone who's compatible with you.

Lack of communication the absence of good communication are usually by-products of a relationship in which both parties aren't as compatible as they'd like to think.

Not to say that it doesn't work, but it just takes more to keep a relationship like that going.

When you're compatible, there's no real need to work on communicating, it just flows naturally.




Re: question for married people
Friday, February 25, 2005 5:58 PM on j-body.org
bor, lemme tell ya something i have learned in 5 years of marrige.... if you dont talk, it will die..
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