I'll go for the gusto with this one... I read the second line, and dammit... I had to.
Yes, I Guess I am A BAD American.
If you're going to say it, I'll prove it.
I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally - big tits.
You like cheap gas, cheap gas, cheap gas, and IMMENSE CREDIT CARD BILLS is what you're trying to say. Well... I can't fault you on that last one, at least.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care about appearing compassionate.
How about the high level governmental figurehead that is making a habit of leaving you on the hook with 98% of every tax dollar?
I'm sure that if you think all your money is better served in your pockets and not a collective, you wouldn't like those Big Cars that run on the publicly financed highways, the big boats in the publicly financed man-made lakes, or the big houses with public water and electricity supplies, the Big Stadiums that were built with public finances and repaid almost totally after 25-30 years of no interest, the big ports that were built using government tax dollars so you can get European or Japanese big cars, or the big airports where tax dollars helped to build the runways, buildings, parking lots, and pay the air traffic controllers to keep the airplanes from colliding into each other, or the big schools that are pushing out 23% of the children that are functionally illiterate.
Programs that help drug addicts are a better investment in the public than building prisons to house them.
I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer.
You don't learn about what a real gun can do... it lulls you into carelessness if you don't learn when it comes time to own a real one.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
Reason enough to get uptight about a trivial matter?
I think I'm doing better than the homeless.
If you have the internet, great... you felt compelled to waste time here?
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
No, but being in the majority doesn't make you any more entitled to bitch and moan.
I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or piss me off.
No, you have the responsibility to act like an adult. People that are different are no better or worse than you. If they're not doing something to you physically, you're just going to have to deal with it yourself, and walk away from something that you don't like.
I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it. Hell, just ask my wife.
If you don't know that there are in fact several different degrees of fulfillment (and that it differs by gender) your wife will be finding out from someone else soon enough.
I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; just don't feel like everyone else should have to.
Great, How about Christmas? Haunakkah?
I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy queen shake, pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English.
Let's drop you in the middle of Calcutta and use the reverse. Try to get along, but money speaks louder than words. Besides, if you knew about how those places paid people, would you expect a WASP to do that job for any length of time?
As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours.
Great, unless your lineage is native north american indian (and you don't happen to speak any of the tribal languages), they came from somewhere, and had to learn the language. You're insulting their hard labour by saying this.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word freeze or stop in English, See the previous line.
If that cop does in fact shoot you, he's not out there for anything close to the right reasons. Learn something about use of force (or I'll refer back to this point later).
If I received a blow job from one of my subordinate employees in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I would have been FIRED immediately.
If you weren't giving any favors or threatening anything, what 2 people do is their business.
I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount when needed.
If there's a ballot involved, why not make it clear and concise in the first place?
I know what the definition of lying is.
Do you know what the definition of annoying is?
I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can you can open a hotel, c-store, trinket shop, or any damn thing else.
If you're too lazy to go looking for the many hundreds of more programs that are out there for Americans, you deserve to languish.
I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.
You also need to learn about media literacy.
I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.
The only safe and sane fireworks are the ones that pyrotechnicians use. The rest are pretty much a one-way ticket to a lost limb or housefire.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light.But I respect your right to.
You're just bitching because???
If it's within noise laws, button your trap. If it's annoying you, ask them to turn it down, if not, go elsewhere.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.
Given the rest of this rant, this idea from your brain really doesn't surprise me.
I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, Lite, or fat-free on the package.
You also don't want to hear what your cardiologist, dietician or GP has to say about your diet. read the labels and eat less if you're going to whine about the "Lite"ning of the food supply.
I did not go to some foreign country and risk my life in vain and defend our constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation.
If it was never to change, why have ammendments? Why have a good framework become a relic of the past if the society for which it is meant to protect changes?
Have you ever remodelled your home? Apply that same idea to the constitution.
I don't hate the rich.
You want to be one of them while they pluck the money out of your pocket. You envy them, and do not attempt to deny it.
I don't pity the poor.
You'll join them soon enough if the rich have their way.
I know wrestling is fake.
The real world is at least as fake as wrestling, and not nearly as transparent.
I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage or our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either. No, but enough of them owned and mistreated their slaves to make it a real sore spot for those that were black.
I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.
I think you've never been on the recieving end of the mental undressing, you can't respect someone if you can reduce them to a sex object.
I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.
Or worse yet, a Moron Conservative that thinks they have half-baked logic on their side.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Rev." Jesse Jackson preaches; and besides what exactly is his job function.
He's as much a preacher as Condoleezza Rice is a Doctor that sees patients.
I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue.
Me either, it's none of my business, yours either. Why did you waste time saying this?
I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime then you will serve the time. A rubber band and a paper clip is a dangerous weapon in the hands of someone with malicious intent.
I've never heard of a 10 or 12 year old accidentally killing themselves with a paperclip and a rubber band... I've never heard of someone shooting someone else in the head in cold blood with a paperclip and a rubber band. Stop watching DareDevil.
I worry about dying before I get even.
I worry about you not knowing what you could be getting yourself into before that moment.
I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.
But you did take the initiative in inventing bogus reasons to post a naught-thought out rant, did you now?
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it pisses you off, invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.
How's about this: make it possible for other people to create and sell their product in a fair marketplace where the consumer has more than one choice. Then, ask yourself why Bill Gates pays far less per dollar in taxes than you do.
I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it pisses me off. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male. Hell, if someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime.
If someone targets a group, like Jews, Blacks, Gay men or women, or hell, even white men, that's a pattern. If there are more than one person doing the deeds, it might be an idea to net all the people involved, wouldn't you say?
I like the convenience of buying oranges from a sidewalk vendor or while I'm waiting at a stop-light, and I'm pretty sure the Latin midget selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator box in East LA or is sleeping in the streets of her home country.
I'm sure she appreciates the stereotype too.
Instead of thinking you're doing her a favour, why not just buy your damned orange and be on your way, you're no different than any other vato on the beat.
We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.
I'm sure there is need for rigorous enforcement of the Horse lashing laws in NYC.
I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.
I'm sure your heart thinks so too... saturated fats for all, and damn the Jews! Pardon my sarcasm.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with the balls to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO".
I think it's best to keep corporeal spanking at a bare minimum, otherwise it loses any effect it had. Also, if you recieved your "wealth" of knowledge entirely from your parent, I'd shudder to think what might happen were they a moron.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
If someone has a tattoo that says "F*CK THE UPPER 1% AND ANYONE THAT SYMPATHISES" is pretty political.
I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.
And you mention that because.. what... only real men cry watching Ole Yeller? Please.
I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.
It took THAT long to understand his books? My goodness that was too easy.
I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions.
No, but your beliefs and opinions are inane, poorly constructed and thought out, and have no bearing on reality.
I thought this country allowed me that right I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.
No, you just want everyone else to conform to you because you are a hypocrite.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
No, you're foolish and you have an internet connection and a television with FoxTV on.
Yes, I guess by their definition, I'm a bad American.
Yes, you are. At least you can admit to it.
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
